A Terroristic Divorce

Everything is my fault.
Everything I do is wrong. Everything I don’t do is wrong.
No one helps. So only I am responsible for things that happen, or do not happen.

It is my fault that I am here for them to terrorize and destroy.
If I were to ‘not be here’ that would be my fault (and wrong) too.

And no one helps… no one ever helps…
the benefit of the doubt people don’t help…
the i need proof people won’t look at the proof…
the ‘that’s what he says’ people prefer to ignore what he says completely and stay uninvolved…

no one wants to read this site… i didn’t want to write it…
I wrote it because the information needed to be saved and available for myself…
they kill computers and drafts and files are lost…
they control phones and those who answer/respond can’t listen through this story…
each re-telling destroys more of my spirit…
So this site exists, for my benefit,
And the benefit of anyone who wants to wade gently into the story,
And that is my fault.

I persevere…
Resistance is futile…
Survival is futile…
The more I try to survive, the further victimized I become.