2011
05.15

The retelling has become less emotional.

The hoplessness of no future is enveloping me though. The court has only ordered me to lose more. the court has refused to address the outstanding issue of the last 4 years – cancelling all hearings, and ordered my continued financial destruction.

As I attempt to respond to their actions, they hit the laptop. I can barely connect to the web…. and must have rebooted over 500 times yesterday.

1. The computer can be hit whenever they like, there is NO protection from their atrtacks. There has not been for the last 5 years. No future there. There is no software protection from the program which gives them control of the computers. and if I get close to breaking free, they kill the computers.

2. I have been ordered out of the house, so it breaks my heart to pack and store my things at my mothers until June 9 when i must be out. I have to leave and pay the bills at the house until it sells while i may not live here. No future financially there.

3. the ultrasonic noises which have tortured my health and sleep will likely follow me wherever I go. if I end up living with my mother I fear she will have a stroke from its impact on her. 2 friends in similar circumstances. One had a massive stroke, the other has been having seizures. No future there knowing it could kill my mother if i move in with her. It is one thing for her to say she isnt afraid. It’s another to make me watch them injure her… and when it happens deal with my family blaming me for bringing it to her door.

4. The judge has allowed for my wife to arrive and take whatever, whenever… no security while here in the house. The same fear as the last 4 years, but now without any court order for her to violate and them NOT to enforce anyway. No respite from the terror.

5. Then she can lie about property matters, and we are back in court. Perhaps I’ll have to produce something she already stole from the house. As defendant, i have to appear to be beat up some more – no choice. They have NEVER enforced a court order on my behalf. But the alternate has been pursued regularly. Not Exaggerating there. No hope for any future there.
– The toothaches are more painful by the day, but the court never enforced the order for dental insurance… for 4 years.
– There has been no financial recoup on all the money I paid on the mortgage in the last 4 years. They haven;t enforce the order for her to pay the house expenses. And have ignored the one for 3 years of back support payments.

The overwhelming hopelessness of surviving the terror of the last 5 years to find there is absolutely no hope of any future despite persevering is debilitating. And dealing with it alone, when everyone imagines it will blow over.

Police have never even looked into the crimes committed against me. The false reports, the identity theft, the conp[uter and phone intrusions.
FBI have never indicated they are investigating them, or me. It seems I continue to catch someone investigating me instead of the ones attacking for the last 5 years.
County Detectives have never investigated anything, even though I met with them and showed them evidence. they stopped when she burglarized the house. Not sure why that justified ending the computer intrusion investigation.
District Attorney has ignored the crimes.

No one helped me in the past. there is no one helping now. and there is no future. no escape. and my heart is breaking.
i am not crazy, i am the only one living in the reality daily and not dismissing and ignoring and imagining it wil end.

I don’t count anyone out. I have no future though. I’ve been destroyed… professionaly, financially, personnally, emotionally… because someone took the bad advice of her lawyer who then had to cover liabilities. Evil. Pure evil.
Terance

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